Modernized Sweeney Todd
by Sarah Elizaberth Reddington
Summary: I started this story back in 2008 the year i watched Sweeney Todd for the first time. (and gotta say LOVED IT) What happens when 2 childhood friends/sweethearts meet again after 10 years. One of them got married and the other can't let go of the past. Rating will change to M in the future! ;)
1. Chapter 1

**Heeeey! I hope you guys like this story, I have always wanted to re-write Sweeney Todd in modern day. I love the original story **

**Disclaimer: These are not my characters I wish they were, man that would be cool, owning Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter Yes Please ;)**

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As I walk off the plane from South Africa back home to England. With the song _When We Stand Together _by Nickelback on my lips as I walk through the gate, I go through customs to get checked out to see if I brought back any diseases. _As you do._

As I got out of the airport I was met with the city I left behind 10 years ago, and it looks the same as it did when I left, bright, shiny, and new, I left to help sick kids get their lives back on track. I never knew what it was to fall in love. I'm thirty-nine-year-old male who has never had a serious relationship, some would say I have commitment issues but the truth is I have never found someone to love.

Instead of hailing a taxi, I walked. Walking for what felt hours, until I looked at my watch and saw that I had only been walking for an hour and a half. I sat down on a bench to look at my map I got from the airport, to try and find a hotel.

"_Right from the start you were a thief, you stole my heart, and I you're willing victim, I let you see all the parts of me that weren't all the pretty, and with every touch you fixed them, now you've been talking in your sleep, uh-oh, things you never say to me uh-oh, tell me enough of our love, our love._" A voice traveled from somewhere nearby it sounded familiar.

"_Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough, just a second we're not broken, just bent and we can learn to love again, it's in the stars it's been written in the scars of our hearts, that we're not broken just bent and we can learn to love again _._" _The voice rang again; I followed it to see where it was coming from.

After following the voice I came to a street corner and found a woman singing with a hat on the floor and a guitar in hand I knew the girl it was my best friend Eleanor Todd. I walked closer and joined her until the song finished.

"Hey gorgeous," I said while she was putting her guitar away

"Hey, you," She said blushing and standing up to give me a hug, "When did you get back?" She asked when we broke.

I helped her putting her guitar away and counted her money, and came out to $25.45 "Wow not my best day, but its good I guess."

"What's a good day for you?"

"About $100 and a bad day is $50."

"Have you always done this?"

"Yeah ever since I was 18 when you left and I ran away from home. Because my parents wanted me to run the family business but I wanted to be a singer." She said.

"Wow, I missed a lot when I left, didn't I?" I said.

Eleanor and I have known each other since we were kids. Every year at school we would always be in the same class and we were best friends all the way up until I left to go to South Africa, and after 10 years of me living on a different continent we lost contact after 3, but no matter what I still love her. But I wonder if she still loves me.

We got to the coffee shop where we used to get coffee when I used to live here. "So tell me more about your life over the past 7 years, you know since I haven't heard from you in that long." I said getting a little mad at her.

"Come on, Ben that's not fair. I had to stop like I explained in my last letter I sent, I got married and every time he saw a letter from you he forced me to stop writing to you. Do you think I wanted to do it? I have loved you since the first time I saw you, but you left before we could have a chance to make our friendship more than what we had, and I know you wanted it too, but you left. You left me at the time I needed you." She crying now, I was regretting leaving her all alone, and now she was married to another man I missed my one and only chance to be with the one and only woman I have ever loved.

"I never stopped loving you, and I never will." She said, "But you left and now I'm married Ben I can't just toss that away just because you have come back." She said staring at the coffee cup in her hand.

"Do you love him?" I asked suddenly.

"What?"

"Your husband, do you love him?"

"I have to; my parents fixed me up with him and arranged the wedding after the first date. So no I don't love him but if I leave him my parents will kill me. Literary both my sister's left their husbands and my parents killed them."

"Well, then run away with me, we'll go anywhere you want to go. We'll go to France, Scotland, Ireland or America anywhere you want to go. Please Nellie; I don't want to lose you again." I said grabbing her hand. She lifted her head and looked into my eyes, and she lit up and nodded. "Ok, but I don't want to leave."

"We don't have to. Didn't you say that your parents used to own a shop down on Fleet Street?"

"Yeah,"

"Why don't we move in there like we did when we were kids?"

"Oh yeah, that's a wonderful idea, but how do we live in there without people noticing?"

"Well, when I was in Africa I picked up how to cut hair, and since there is a room above yours I thought that I use that one and open up a barber shop."

"Oh you are a genius. I love you so much." She said giving me a big hug.

"Oh, my God I forgot how much I missed you until I saw you on the street corner." I said hugging her back harder.

I followed her to her parents shop. We were holding hands as if it was the most natural thing the world until we reached the shop and saw her parents inside.

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**Well, there you go chapter 1, I hope you liked it please feel free to review, the chapters will get M rated in the future and if you have any ideas on where I could go with this story please tell me :) Thanks Guys :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Heey Guyzz,**

**I'm back,**

**Here's chapter two Enjoy.**

**DISCLAIMER: Again these are not my characters, man I wish they were so then i can have them kissing all the time ;)**

**BTW's yes i am a huge Jolena Fan love them to death.**

**ENJOY ;)**

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Nellie walked in and left me outside. I saw her talking to her parents, they seemed somewhat happy to see her, but I knew that she could see that they wasn't as happy as they let on.

I remained outside until she came back.

"I got good news and bad news, which do you want to hear first?" She asked when she came out of the shop.

"Good."

"Well the good news is that you can rent the room above the shop."

"What's the bad news?"

"They are staying in the shop just to make sure that nothing happens between us."

"Damn, I was kind of hoping for a little alone time with you." I said using the back of my hand to stroke her cheek. She shivered, "I know I wanted time with you too, but we can't unless we can get them away from here one night or forever. Oh also you have to change your name."

"Why, what's wrong with my name?" I asked.

"Nothing, it's just when you left my parents vowed to kill you when you returned for breaking my heart."

"Ok, how about Max Jacobs?" Nellie's face scrunches up and shakes her head. "No way, how about Doug Channing," She suggested. I shook my head and said, "What am I a hipster? How about Sweeney Todd," I asked, she smiled and nodded.

"How did you come up with that?" She asked.

"Well, while I was in South Africa I met a guy by the name Johnny Sweeney, so I used his last name and your maiden last name so I can at least pretend to be a part of your family."

"Oh, aren't you the romantic."

"That I am, darling that I am." I said smiling down at her and giving her a hug.

We went inside of the shop and after 10 years I came face to face with Nellie's parents again. I was worried that her parents would recognize me, but since I was 10 years older and I haven't shaved in a while so I had a beard they didn't notice that I wasn't Sweeney Todd but Benjamin Barker.

"Mr. and Mrs. Todd it's so nice to meet you. It's so nice of you to allow me to move into the room above this shop." I said with a smile.

"Ok Sweeney, you don't need to overdo it I'm sure they know how grateful you are you don't need to make a huge thing out of it ok." Nellie said patting me on the shoulder.

I knew she was joking but I looked wounded to show her parents that she was the boss.

"You're very welcome, Mr. Todd. It is kind of odd that you have the same last name as us and we have only just met." Nellie's mother said.

"Yeah, where I came from Todd is a very popular name."

"Where do you come from? If you don't mind my asking,"

"I'm from London but I moved to Manchester when I was 10, and last year I moved back over to London and that's when I met Nellie here and she told me that her parents had a room for rent and so she brought me here." I have never lied so much in my life but they seemed to have bought it.

Nellie helped me move into the shop. "I know this isn't what you had in mind when you came back here but we can get by." She said moving a chair to the middle of the room. She sat on the chair and curled up on it and said, "Do you remember this chair, Ben?" I turned around and said, "Yeah I do, that where you gave me my 'going away' present." I walked over to her, sat on the edge of the chair and ran my fingers through her brunette, wild, untamable hair the way I have always loved. "Did you like your 'present'?" She asked. "The best present I have ever received." I winked at her.

We were about to lean in when Nellie's father came in. We quickly jumped a part and pretended that nothing happened, in the eyes of her father. "Are you settling in ok, Mr. Todd?"

"Yes, I am thank you sir." I said trying to sound as polite as possible.

"Good, I actually came up here to ask if you would like to join us for dinner?"

"Oh, Daddy I don't think Sweeney would want to join us for dinner, after all the work he has done today." Nellie said, it seemed like she didn't want me there for some ungodly reason. But I couldn't help myself from playing with her adorable little head of her and said, "Oh, come now Eleanor, your father and mother have asked me to dinner and allowed me to move into this shop, so I think it's only fair that I join you three for dinner to repay that debt." I saw the look on her face as she turned to face me. I have never seen her like that before she looked so mad but I shock it off.

"Awesome."

"Dad, never use the word awesome around me again."

"Why not," He was hurt now.

"Because it's so not cool dad,"

"Ok sweetheart I'll stop using it," Then he turned to me, "Mr. Todd," he said turning to leave.

When he left Nellie finally lost it. "What the hell do you think you were doing saying yes to going to dinner with us?"

"Nel, honey calm down I was only doing it to be nice and to thank them for allowing me to stay here." I put my hands on her shoulders to try to calm her down.

"But what happens if they find out who you really are?"

"Sweetie, you're over thinking this, they will never find out who I am don't worry I'm very good at lying."

"Oh, great that makes me feel better."

"Eleanor, trust me I know what I'm doing can you please find it somewhere in that big heart of yours to try and trust me?" I stared into her eyes with the puppy-dog eyes I knew she couldn't resist.

"Ok, fine but you can't use that again for a whole year." She said when she finally cracked, "But if you do something to jeopardize us working together I will kill you myself."

"Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me? I promise you that I have a plan to get rid of them. Then we can be together."

"Ok, but if they even suspect a thing…."

"I know you're going to kill me. Your threats are so cute." I said taking her hands in mine.

"A lot of things have changed since you have been gone, like my 'husband' abuses me and I have learned how to defend myself." She answered taking her hands out of mine.

"Nellie, have you told anyone that he abuses you?"

"No I keep it locked away inside my head. Of course I fucking tell my parents every day, but they don't listen."

"Well, it looks like I have to take care of him too."

"Could ya?" She asked getting excited.

"Who is your husband by the way?"

"Ok just promise not to hate me ok." She winced.

"WHAT! Oh no, don't tell me that you married HIM, Judge Joshua Turpin?"

"Don't be mad, please."

"Oh no I'm not mad I'm just horrified that your parents forced you to marry that pathetic waste of space, when did it happen?"

"The same time my letters stopped." She started crying.

"Don't your parents know that he used to give us a hard time at school?" I asked pacing frantically.

"Yes, but now the man is a judge they wanted me to have a high statue so I don't have to work for the rest of my life. But he abuses me and doesn't do a thing he just treats me like a slave."

I stopped pacing and saw that she broke out in tears I quickly ran over to her and enveloped her in a big hug and vowed to never to let him hurt her again. Her head quickly snapped up as if to remember something, I let her go and she walked over to one of the floor boards and lifted one of them up. "I knew you would come back one day so I bought these for you, just in case this plan would ever come into play." She pulled out a box, the box had my initials on the top, when I opened it I saw 5 barber razors, each of them had their own unique pattern on the handles. "I never forgot how you loved Victorian things so I thought that this would fit in well with your décor."

"I love them thank you." I said.

I caught her eyes again and this time I knew that no one would distract us and even if they did I would kill them there and then no hesitation. The more I stared into her big, beautiful brown eyes the more I felt like I was being drawn to her like I always was. I took her face in my hands and stroked her cheeks. Her tongue quickly darted out to wet her lips, when it went back inside her mouth I latched my mouth onto hers. The kiss wasn't like the one we previously shared all those years ago when I left, this one was soft and slow. I swiped my tongue across her bottom lip wanting access into her mouth, after about three swipes she finally granted me access into her mouth and I quickly found her tongue. The kiss got very heated very quickly and I knew we had to stop before someone walked in but I couldn't stop.

I broke the kiss and got up off the floor, I helped her off the floor. "Thank you - Ahem," My voice was very high pitched Nellie tried to stifle a giggle but failed miserably, after clearing my throat a couple of times I tried speaking again. "Thank you for the razors."

"You're welcome; I'll see you at dinner and no funny stuff mister."

I put my hands up in surrender, "Wouldn't dream of it." Oh but I was planning on doing a lot dinner was going to be a lot of fun.

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**There we have it chapter 2 done and dusted**

**BTW's yes i am a girl and no i am not gay but i have fantasized about kissing Helena on more than one occasion she is my role model and the only woman i would turn gay for! Just putting it out there. ;) and if she on this site I'm so sorry but she could do worse ;) hahahaha**

**Ok if that freaked you out i'm sorry :) Please continue to read my story it gets better**

**R&R Peepzz **

**Love you guys xx**

**Sarah-Jayne Depp. (I also love Johnny so if he is on this site too I love you) :) ( A girl can dream can't she hahaha)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Heeeeey, Peepz**

**Here's chapter three,**

**I hope you like it :)**

**Remember to R&R**

**DISCLAIMER: These are not my characters, i wish ;)**

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I looked at my watch and saw that the time was when I saw it was 7 already I started to get ready for dinner. I didn't know what to wear, due to the fact I just got home from a 10 year long trip so I didn't have anything nice to wear. I got out my phone and texted Nellie.

_Nel, I don't have anything to wear tonight._

The reply came back within a minute and it read.

_And that's bad because?_

_It's bad because I don't want to look like an idiot in front of your parents_

_Oh Ben, they don't care what you wear as long as you look as presentable as possible_

_I don't have anything remotely presentable_

_Ok, ok calm down I'm sure we can find something I'll be up there in a second_

We went through my entire closet and found nothing. All I had was; 2 pairs of jeans, 4 singlets and 3 jumpers nothing remotely nice enough to wear for a dinner party.

"Ok take this and this, try those on." She said giving me a pair of jeans and the nicest jumper I had.

"Ok, I'll be back in a second." I said walking into a different room.

"What are you talking about just put them on here?"

"Really,"

"Yeah, it's not like you have anything I haven't seen before." She said giggling.

"True. Ok fine just turn around just so you don't get any ideas so we will be late for dinner."

"Oh honey, don't flatter yourself."

I turned around and took off the jeans I was already wearing and replaced them with the jeans Nellie gave me to put on. I then took off the jumper and I heard a very audible gasp coming from Nellie.

"What, what's wrong?" I asked her getting very worried.

"Your back, what happened?" She was now standing behind me tracing all the scars and knots on my back.

I shivered at her touch and said, "Oh those stories I will tell you at a later date, but if you keep doing that I'm not going to be able to control myself."

She continued her light touches on my back, I turned around to look at her and what I saw was a mixture of sadness, love and lust. The longer I stared into her eyes the more I realized that I was wasting precious alone time I can have with her. I was about to lean in and kiss her but quickly snapped out of it when we heard the bell on the door ring.

"Eleanor, where are you?" A man's voice sounded. It didn't sound like her father's voice so that could only mean that it was her husband.

"Oh God, how did he find me?" She whispered to herself.

"Your parents must have called him to tell him where you were."

"Thank you for that, now please hide me before I kill him myself."

"Ok, ok calm down I'll get rid of him."

I walked out of my room and came face to face with the man that emotionally and physically bullied me and Nellie when we were kids, but seeing as I looked completely different from when I last saw him I could pretend to be Sweeney to one more person for a while.

"Hi, can I help you?" I asked.

"Who are you?"

"Oh how rude of me, my name is Sweeney Todd, who are you?" I said extending my hand for him to shake.

"I'm Judge Joshua Turpin, now where is my wife?" he said ignoring my extended hand.

"I'm sorry you just missed her she just left."

"Really, her parents said that she was up here."

"Well, I'm sorry she is not here anymore."

Satisfied with what I told him he left and I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding. Nellie came out of my room, stood next to me and held my hand.

"That was close, thank you for lying." She said clinging onto my arm. I didn't answer I just kissed the top of her head and wrapped my arms around her waist.

It was finally dinner time, Nellie and I held hands as we walked down the stairs to lead to the back door of the shop downstairs. But when we reached the door we separated, I was kind of scared about having dinner with her parents, because the last time I had dinner with them it was the night that I told their daughter I was leaving her to fulfill my dream of helping people less fortunate than me. They didn't take it too well. They accused me of breaking Nellie's heart, which is true but before I left I told her I would come back and we can start our lives again the way always dreamed. Down by the sea, getting married and having lots of kids. She always wanted kids; she has so much mothering in her that she wanted nothing more than to use it on our children.

We walked through the door and came face to face with a banquet. My breath went shallow and I got fidgety.

"Hey, relax you're going to be fine just remember to not let my parents know who you are?" Nellie said grabbing my hand and giving it a gentle squeeze and when she saw her mother she quickly dropped my hand.

"Oh, come in you two." Her mother said when she saw us standing at the door.

"Thank you ma'am," I said following Nellie over to the table. She reached for her chair I grabbed it and pulled it out for her so she could sit down.

"Wow, a perfect gentleman." Her mother said.

"We're a dying breed." I said with a smile.

We ate in silence for a while, until Nellie's dad broke the silence.

"So Mr. Todd, what did you do before you came here?"

"I was a bartender, nothing really special." I said giving them a smile.

"Sweeney, come on you know you were the best bartender in the whole of Manchester. Every bar wanted you and that's how we met." Nellie said smiling.

We all went quite again, I wanted to mess with Nellie for a bit, and since I was sitting next to her it was going to be easy. I casually slipped my hand under the table and I found her leg. I felt her leg twitch under my hand, I smiled at her reaction. My hand traveled further up her leg to her thigh, her leg kept twitching. I saw her hand slip under the table, her hand found mine, grabbed it and guided it up the skirt she was wearing and put it on the spot where she wanted it. She leaned over and whispered in my ear.

"You promised no funny business, and now you are going to have to suffer the consequences. I was going to sleep with you tonight, but if you can't be a good boy then you can forget it." With that she ripped my hand away from her body and crossed her leg over the other and turned herself away from the waist down.

I was dumb-founded, about two things, one: I wasn't expecting her to sleep with me until we kill her parents and her husband and two: she always liked my ministrations whenever we eat with her family but I don't think she has fully forgiven me completely, but if she was going to sleep with me then I guess I was wrong. I leaned over again and whispered, "I'm sorry, I was testing to see how far I could go."

Dinner was uneventful for the rest of the night. I said goodnight and thank you to Nellie's parents, they smiled and said goodnight to me before I left. I went over to Nellie, picked up her hand and kissed her knuckles, "Goodnight Nellie."

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**Heeey, i hope you enjoyed this :)**

**My next chapter is going to be rated M so if the story isn't there next time you go to read this you'll know why ;)**

**Love you guys,**

**Sarah-Jayne Depp. 3**


	4. Chapter 4

**Heeeey, **

**just a warning this chapter is in Nellie's point of view. I can't write this bit for a males perspective i can do a lot of things but i cant do that hahahaha.**

**I was a little upset about the lack of reviews but i did get a lot of faves so it kind of evens out :) **

**anyways remember please R&R and give me criticism i'm not a perfect writer so i need pointers to help me please :)**

**DISCLAIMER: these are not my characters :'(**

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**Nellie's P.O.V:**

When Ben left me and my parents alone, I excused myself and had a shower, and after Ben's little ministrations at dinner I was in the mood to get some but I couldn't really do anything about sleeping with Ben with my parents here so I decided to get back at him from earlier so I slipped into my sexiest negligee I had which was black and see through, lied on my bed and got out my phone and texted him.

_Hey, how r u holding up? _I texted to seem perfectly innocent, when the reply came I giggled a little it said: _Eh, u teasing me at dinner, kinda mean don't u think?_

_U started it._ I texted back.

_I no but u didn't have to say those things because now I'm all hard up thanks 2 u_

I giggled again, I knew I didn't have to say that I was going to sleep with him tonight but since he put his hand on my leg I wanted to tease him. To tease him further I sent him a picture of me on my bed with my negligee on in the sexiest pose I could muster.

_Oh come on that's not fair _I smiled at the screen at his reply. So I replied with, _Oh come on baby u no u want it, _and another picture of me dragging down the cup of the bra and made sure that he could get a glimpse of my nipple.

_Oh god you have no idea how much I want you right now, but we can't while ur parents r still around_

_I'll take that chance baby, I'm coming up there J_

_Nellie don't_

I left my phone in my room so he would just think that I was asleep or I had given up. Oh but I was far from finished teasing him. I crept into his shop being careful not to ring the bell that was attached to the door, but the bell rung anyway and I was pushed up against the wall.

A few things ran through my mind, one: that Ben was asleep himself and someone was robbing him and I happen to walk in the middle of the thief taking what he wanted, or two: my husband found me and was going to drag me home.

But when I looked up and saw Ben's eyes staring back into mine, he had one of his razors in his hand and held it up to my throat and I said, "You know this is kind of hot."

"What are you doing in here?" He asks in a very dangerous tone.

"I came here for a hair-cut." I said.

"Really, at this hour?"

"God you're an idiot, I came up here to have sex with you silly. Do you mind?" I said pointing at the razor at my throat. He quickly took the razor away and I went into his room and lying on his bed.

"I said no because I don't want your parents to catch us."

"Ooo, big talk coming from a guy that just 3 hours ago was torturing me under the table." I said patting the empty space on the bed and giving him my famous pout that I know he can never refuse.

"Oh, God no, no don't do the pout you know I can't resist the pout." The more he begged me not to do the pout the more I did it.

Finally he broke down and joined me on his bed.

"This is really sexy, when did you get it?"

I looked down at my negligee and smiled at the memory, "I bought it on the day you left and I wanted to put it on for you but we got right into it instead of me romancing you first and giving you the best last night you ever had but I guess you gave me the best night I ever had." I giggled.

He cupped my face gently and leaned in and kissed me. The kiss was just like the one he gave me on the night before he left, I loved his kisses they were always amazing and I always knew what was going to follow.

He got up and slide between my thighs, "Oh, my God how do you expect to sleep being this wet Nellie?" He said taking off my panties and slipping a finger into me, "Ben why are you teasing me? Just fuck me already please." I moaned.

"Oh, no baby, I'm going to take my sweet time with you." He said slowly removing and inserting his finger over and over and over again until I was moaning loudly.

"Shh, Nellie you need to stay quite." He said covering my mouth with his free hand. I could only nod, but he didn't remove his hand from my mouth, he knew that I was loud no matter how much I tried.

Deciding he had enough of teasing me, he completely removed his fingers, I whimpered at the loss. He then slammed into me, when he was all the way in; I let out a small squeak and then a moan.

After a while of me getting used to his size again after 10 years he started to move, and oh my god it was just as good as I remember it. He moaned loudly himself when he did start to move. "Shh, Ben you need to stay quite." I re-quoted he stated earlier.

Before the night was over we had sex 2 more times. As we lied on his bed panting, I rolled over and stroked his chest. I looked into his eyes. "I have to go back down stairs babe." He let out a large breath and gave me a long kiss that to let me know that it will happen again soon.

"Ok, baby but tomorrow we have to start planning our tactics on how to kill your parents and your damn husband." He growled the last part I knew it bothered him that I was married to another man, so was I. I always knew the man I love would always come back and he has, but my parents didn't like the thought of me waiting for a that they thought will never return to marry me and spend the rest of his life with me so they married me off to the first man that came along.

"Ok, honey." I said giving him another quick kiss while I was getting dressed and I left.

I returned to my room and thought about a plan.

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**There's chapter 4 Please write reviews i'm not as good as i'd like to be so please tell me if i'm doing something wrong :)**

**Love you guys :)**

**Sarah-Jayne Depp xx**


	5. Chapter 5

Hey my special little ones,

sorry about the two months hiatus, I have been so busy with school an I haven't really found the time to write.

but I hope you guys enjoy this chapter :)

And yes I have changed my Pen Name :)

Disclaimer: These are not my characters. But man I whish they were :(

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Ben's P.O.V:

The next morning I woke up to the sound of yelling and smashing, it sounded like it was coming from downstairs. I quickly got dressed and rushed down there to see what was happening. I looked through the window on the door and what I saw shocked me to my very core. The judge had come in early to see Nellie and her parents; I noticed that last night I accidently gave her a massive love bite and now he and her parents were interrogating her on where she got it. I thought for sure she was going to tell them about us but she kept insisting that she didn't know.

I waited outside; I didn't dare go in until I knew that it was safe. She caught my eye and gave a small smile telling me that she was handling it, but in actually I knew she wasn't so I wondered in and asked what was going on. The judge just told me to leave and to mind my own business.

"If it concerns, Miss. Eleanor then it concerns me." I said.

The judge just scoffed and stormed out of the shop.

"Thank you." Nellie whispered to me.

"Meh, are you ok?" I said getting very worried.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It was a little scary for a minute there." She said. She was trembling and shaking.

She turned to her parents and asked, "Mummy, can I please leave him? He is making my life a living hell, I'm sure there are other men in London that will actually look after me and love me, instead of treating me like their slave. Please?" She was on the floor begging.

"Sweetie you can't he puts money into this business you can't just up and leave him."

"Then I'll run away again, I hate him Mum, I can't stand to be married to him any longer."

"I'm sorry honey you can't and that's final." Her mother said before leaving the room with Nellie's father.

"Honey, are you okay?" I asked after a few moments of silence.

"I will be when my husband is dead." She said with a small smile. "Have you got any ideas?"

"I have one but I don't think you're going to like it?"

"What tell me?"

"You know the razors you gave me?"

"Oh, my God you're a freaking genius."

"You haven't even heard it yet."

"I know what you were going to say. Use the razors to slit his throat."

"Wow, great minds do think alike, don't they?" I said smiling.

"So when are you going to do it? And can I watch you do it?"

I looked at her with my eye brow raised at how she wanted to watch when her husband's life drain from his eyes and throat. It was such a turn on.

"What?" She asked.

"I'm just thinking about when I was going to do it and if you wanted to do it."

"Or we could share it. I mean he also made your life a living hell all though school."

"True, God I love you so much."

"I love you, too." She said giving me a big hug.

"Hey do you wanna go upstairs and finish what you stopped last night?"

"Does talk about death turn you on?" She asked.

"Ha, no seeing you like that does." I looked down her body to find her in a tight, low cut singlet, black leggings and a shirt that looked like one of the shirts I left here the night we made love for the first time. "Is this my shirt?" I asked as I held onto it.

"Yeah it was the only thing I had to remember you by, do you want it back?" She asked nervously.

"God, no you keep it. It looks a lot better on you than it ever did on me." I said smiling.

Nellie's P.O.V.

He took my hand; damn they were both rough and soft. I love that about his hands; they would always ignite something inside of me that made me go crazy and wild with lust.

He led me to his room, held me against the door and gave me the best kiss I have ever received, and that's when I felt it, the sudden urge to throw-up. I quickly ran to the bathroom and threw my guts up.

"Babe, are you okay?" I heard from behind the door.

I couldn't answer, every time I tried to answer I threw-up. I heard the door open and I felt Ben's hand on my back soothing me.

Finally after a couple of minutes and a full content of stomach later, I finally stopped and got up.

"Are you okay?" He asked me.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that, I'm guessing you don't want to have sex now?"

"I do but I think we should go to the doctors first." He said picking me up and carrying me to the bed and lying me down.

"Now try and get some rest and when you wake up I'll take you to the doctor's, okay?"

I smiled and lightly nodded my head, "But only if you stay with me."

"I was going to," he said smiling. His face was the last thing I saw before I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up what felt like hours later, I looked around but I couldn't find Ben anywhere I was getting very worried he would never leave me when I was sick. Even all those years ago when we were kids he would miss school just to take care of me. That's when I knew that he would be an amazing dad and husband, if only he never left. I got out of bed and walked into his shop and found him shaving and chatting to a man. That made sense as to why he wasn't next to me when I woke up, he still had to pay rent and make a living.

The two men laughed at something Ben said. I watched him work his blade so effortlessly across the man's face, watching his biceps flex and relax with every movement made my breathing get heavy but I tried to make sure that they couldn't hear me.

A couple of minutes later Ben finished doing everything a barber does to a costumer and turned around. When he saw me his face light up like he hadn't seen me in years which was sweet.

"How do you feel?"

"Better thank you." I said smiling.

"Come on lets go to the doctors." He said grabbing my hand and lead me down the street.

* * *

:O What's wrong with Nellie?

Find out tomorrow :) Stay tuned ;)

Love you guys so much, Sarah Aimie Reid xx


	6. Chapter 6

Hey Guy's

This story is from Nellie's point of view,

please R&R when you have finished reading please :)

Love you xx

* * *

Nellie's P.O.V:

"Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Todd you are going to have a baby." The doctor said to me and Ben when she came back into the room.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry what?" I said not believing what I was hearing.

"You are going to have a child."

"Are you sure?" I asked getting excited.

"Positively, 100% sure, look." The doctor showed us the sonogram on the screen. "Wow, that's amazing."

"I'll give you two a minute." She said before leaving.

"I don't see it." Ben said.

"Baby, it's right there." I said pointing to a peanut shaped object on the screen.

"Oh wow, that is amazing." He said smiling down at me and I looking up and him.

I bit my lip to hold in my excitement. "Nellie, don't do that you know how crazy that makes me."

Just to annoy him I didn't stop. "Nellie, if you don't stop that I'll fuck you right here, right now."

"Maybe that's what I want." I said giggling.

Before he could kiss me the doctor came in and told us we could leave.

We left the hospital as quickly as we could but not too fast to raise suspicion. After getting lost several times, we finally found our car. We got inside the car, that's when Ben was all over me. I didn't want him to stop but I knew we had to because we had to talk about our situation.

"Ben, what am I going to tell my parents? I can't tell them that it's Josh's because I haven't been back at his place since you came back, but they will kill you and me if I told them it's yours."

"Nell, it's going to be ok we will find a way to make sure that nothing happens to you and the baby. He said with a smile.

I smiled back but it didn't settle my nerves, I knew I had to tell my parents because I can't hide something like this from them.

The ride home was quiet and suspenseful, not knowing what Ben was thinking was scaring me a lot he always told me what he was thinking.

"Ben what are you thinking about?"

"I'm thinking about if we are going to run away or kill your parents and Josh now so we don't have to have that awkward conversation with them."

"I like the running away idea." I said taking ahold of his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

We arrived home, and found my parents talking to the police. We ran in after explaining to the other police officers that we were residents here.

"Mum, what happened?" I asked running up to hug her.

"Josh came by, and asked to see you but we didn't know where you were so he ripped the whole place apart trying to find you. Where were you?"

"Oh, I'm going to kill him. I'm sorry Mummy but now do you see what he is capable of? Please let me leave him."

"As soon as he has paid for the damages he has caused then you can leave him. You didn't answer my question, where were you?"

"I was at the hospital, I wasn't feeling very well so Sweeney took me to the doctors, and it just turned out to be a little food poisoning." I have never lied through my teeth to my Mum before, so the first time I did it, I felt like throwing up again. Ben saw this so he quickly led me to the bathroom and stroked my head as I leaned over the sink just in case I did throw up.

"Nellie, you have to tell your parents that you are pregnant. You can't hide it forever." He said hugging me.

"I know but did you hear what my Mum said, 'as soon as Josh has paid for the damages I can file for divorce,' but knowing him he probably won't give up that easily." I said, burring my face in the crook of his neck, "My god you smell amazing."

"Come on you, we gotta get you to bed." He said taking my hand.

"But I don't wanna go to bed." I said with a pout, the one I know he could never ever refuse.

"Oh no, no, no don't do that, Nellie that's not fair. Please don't do that."

"But I'm not sleepy can't I just stay with you for a while just until all of this stuff with my parents and Josh has blown over?"

"Yeah ok just make sure you tell your parents so then I don't look like the bad guy in this this, ok?"

"Yeah ok," I said going into the kitchen to see my Mum and Dad.

"Hey, what's going on?" I asked casually.

"Nothing much, listen I don't think it's safe for you to stay here while Josh is running around like an idiot so we think you should stay with Sweeney for a while just until things calm down a bit, and I think it would be an idea if you don't work either." Mum said.

I was stunned but I played along. "But don't you think it would be safer with me being here? And if I don't work what the hell am I supposed to do with my time I'll go nuts."

"No, your Dad and I both agreed that the only way to protect you would be for you to stay with Sweeney until this all blows over. You could start writing songs again and do things that you want to do again."

I pretended to be disappointed at what my parents were asking of me, but I slowly nodded and turned towards my room to pack a few things I may need, like clothes, my guitar, my song notebook and various things.

I walked out of my room to find my Dad talking to Ben, I caught a couple of words like, 'touch', 'daughter' and 'kill' I laughed softly at how protective my Dad was being it made me love him that little more.

"Hey, Sweeney I'm ready when you are." I smiled.

"Alright, bye, Mr. and Mrs. Todd, I'll take very good care of your daughter." He said shaking my Dad's hand and giving my Mum a hug and I gave both my parents a big kiss and hug, he took my guitar from me, being the perfect gentleman he is and I followed him up to his shop/apartment.

"Well here we are Nellie Todd welcome to your home for the next couple of months." He said trying to cheer me up.

"Oh, why thank you Mr. Barker." I said playing along with his game.

"Why don't you put you things away in the drawers in the bedroom?"

"Oh, Mr. Barker trying to get me into bed already, are you?"

"No, I'm not that uncivilized; I just want to make sure that you have enough room in the drawers in case I have to move some things around or out."

"Why out? Aren't you going to be sleeping in bed with me?" I said trying to make him feel bad about leaving his pregnant best friend all alone at night.

"Of course I am, I love you too much to see you without my body next to yours, I was only saying I have so much shit in the drawers that I was just wondering if I had to take some things out so we can fit your stuff in."

"So now you're saying I have a lot of stuff." I said trying to piss him off.

"You are something you know that, and that's why I love you." He said standing beside me and giving me a big kiss on the lips, which then turned very heated very quickly, neither wanting to stop it.

I gasped when I felt his fingertips grazed my rip cage, that's when I realised that he had taken off his shirt I was wearing and lifted the singlet I was wearing up to around my breasts so he had full access to my stomach and ribcage.

"Oh, my God Nellie I can feel the little bit of swell in your stomach already, feel it." He said taking my hand and putting it on my stomach. I gasped at how it felt, it felt amazing and I hoped that it was one of many to come.

* * *

Hey Dudes :)

Here's chapter 6,

Please leave me some reviews I would love to hear what you think of the story so far :)

Even if it's criticism I need some.

please people tell a girl what you think of her stories.

Well there's my needy plea for he day ;)

haha

love you guy xx Sarah Aimie Gubler


	7. Chapter 7

Hey Dudes,

Here is chapter 7, please review

DISCLIAMER: These are not my characters, but man I wish they were :)

* * *

**MONTH TWO:**

I woke up with my back against his chest and a little present, which I grind my ass into it hoping it would make him wake up. He began to stir and wake up. When he was fully awake he started kissing my shoulder.

"Good morning, my sexy lover." I said stroking his cheek.

"Good morning, you," He replied, "What do you want to do today, baby?"

"Well since I'm not allowed down stairs I was thinking maybe staying in here all day with you."

"That sounds like a plan, but I have to work today baby."

I pouted at him and started to rub my small baby bump. "You wouldn't leave us all alone would you?"

"Oh baby, don't do that, you know what that does to me."

"I know that's why I do it lover." I still call him my lover because I was still waiting on the divorce papers are being drawn up and we haven't really made our relationship public yet so we are still on the down low with our relationship.

"Fine, I'll close the shop again but this is the last time, I have to pay rent so we can stay here."

"Oh baby I'm sorry go, go to work, be my hot, working man." I said stretching out and letting the blanket that was covering me slip away from my body.

"Oh baby, why do you do that?" He asked after he woke up from being mesmerized by my body.

"Do what," I asked innocently, "What this?" I said stretching out again and letting him see my naked body again. Then he was on me like a moth to a flame. He kissed me all over my body, paying particular attention to my baby bump, my swelling breasts and my swollen clit.

He sucked, nipped and licked my nipples, and because of the pregnancy they were overly sensitive and it felt so amazing to know that this is was love feels like, and not feeling like you're getting raped all the fucking time. That's what sex was like with Josh, it felt like a chore, there was no and never had been any passion between him and me, I practically had to fake my orgasms so he would get off me. But with Ben, it was soft when we started but as it went on it got rough and I love that and there was so much passion every time we made love. It was always amazing and always left me feeling overly satisfied and it was always different. But with Josh it was the same.

"Baby, I wanna try something new." I panted.

"What did you have in mind Nell?"

"In the underwear drawer there is something I wanna use to spice up this particular activity today."

He got up off the bed and walked over to the drawer and pulled out my pink vibrator.

"Do I even want to know when you got this?" He asked.

"I got it the day after you left. I needed it because I missed the feeling of you inside me and I shopped for hours until I found one that was the same size as you."

"But you don't even like pink."

"Really, really that's what you took from that?"

"No, I was just commenting."

I started to touch myself because I needed to cum desperately; I thought he would come over and take his hands away from my dripping wet pussy. But I opened my eyes and saw him watching me.

"Please continue baby, this is so hot." He said in a husky voice which turned me on more.

"Keep talking to me, baby."

He talked to me non-stop, I kept my eyes open watching him. The more he watched me the closer his hands got to his throbbing member, and he started pumping. I was so close and from the looks of it he was close too.

"Cum with me baby," I said. We both screamed, completely forgetting that my parents were still down stairs.

"Oh, my God," I moaned as I came down from my high. "Get back up here baby." I panted, he quickly jumped up on the bed and laid on the bed next to me and propped himself up on his elbow to look at me.

"What?"

"Just admiring your beauty and thinking that I am the luckiest man in the world." I smiled at him, cupped his cheek and kissed him sweetly.

"And I'm lucky to; you have always been the one for me. Unfortunately my parents didn't see it. They liked you, because you were the only friend had in school so they loved you, but when you left they thought that you were leaving for good so they married me off to Josh." I gagged his name.

"At least you're getting a divorce now." He said trying to make me happy again.

"Yeah I know but I know him, he will not stop until either you or me end up in jail. So that is why we have to kill the son of a bitch." I was getting really mad now.

"Ok, baby I'll tell you what when the papers are ready get Josh to come over here and I'll give him a 'shave' and if you want you can tell him everything that you have wanted to say since the first time you met him, take the razor, tell him that you are pregnant and kill him. How does that sound?"

"Oh, my God that sounds incredible. But how are we going to get rid of the body?"

"Oh right, I guess we could take it to the graveyard and burry it."

"Or Mum taught me how to make pies so in the middle of the night I could use all the equipment to make him into a pie."

"Reverting to cannibalism I like it." He said nodding his head.

The alarm on my phone went off, I looked at it and it said 'doctor's appointment at 10'.

"Shit."

"What's wrong?"

"I totally forgot I have a doctor's appointment today, do you wanna come?"

"Yeah, let's get dressed and go."

"What about work?"

"I'll open when we get back; I wanna be there for everything because it's my child."

"Ok, I gotta go have a shower." I got off the bed and went into the bathroom and had a shower.

* * *

At the doctor's office we were sitting in the chairs holding hands and he kept whispering in my ear, and I giggled at what he was saying. The women that were also in the office were awing us at how cute we looked. For all they knew we were a newly married couple having their first child, that couldn't be more farther from the truth.

We were in the room where we were waiting for the doctor to tell us about our baby. She finally came in.

"Good morning, how are we this morning?"

"Couldn't be better," I said looking at Ben with a huge smile on my face.

The doctor smiled at us; to her we were so cute at how in love we were. "Good, well your baby is healthy." Ben and I smiled at each other at the good news of our baby is healthy.

"Ok, I don't need to see you for a couple of months where we can find out the sex of the baby. Do you want to know the sex of the baby?"

"Yes!" Ben and I said in unison.

"Ok, I'll see you two in two months."

"Thank you," We said as I hopped down from the table.

We walked home which was nice, we're walking arms linked not caring if anyone saw and if someone questioned we would said that we were brother and sister. We are in love that we wanted to flaunt it for the whole of London to see. That's when we ran into HIM!

* * *

Dun, Dun, Duh. hahaha

cliffhanger :O

Hey dudes,

Please leave a review.

Im going to try and update every day:)

Please review I love hearing your comments about the story :)

P.S. if the sex scenes I write are not as hot as you are used to, it's cause i'm 17 years old and i'm still a virgin so I don't know how sex really goes :/

Love you guys xx

Sarah Aimie Gubler


	8. Chapter 8

Yo what's up,

I know I said I was going to update tomorrow but I got the idea now and I had to write it down before I lost it. Because i'm a very forgetful person :)

Plus this is for ishipsweenett who wanted an update sooner :)

Love You All xx

Love Sarah Aimie Gubler xx

* * *

We ran into Josh, Ben and I quickly unlinked arms and acted like we were just friends.

"Hi, Nellie, are you enjoying yourself at your parents' house?" He asked with a hint of anger in his voice.

"It would be a lot better if you didn't fucking trash the place. Why did you do that?" I asked with my own hint of anger in my voice.

"Because I miss you and I want you to come home."

"What if I say no?"

"Then I will kill your parents." He said with a sick smile.

This is when Ben cut in and led Josh away by the arm so he could talk to him alone, I know what he was going to ask, "Excuse me sir, but I think Nellie would love to come home with you after you have had a shave. I'll tell you what, you come to my shop and I'll give you a shave free of charge and I'll tell you she will go nuts for you." I heard Ben say.

Josh wasn't easy to manipulate. But as soon as Ben told him that I would go crazy for him once he has had a shave he quickly agreed. Ben looked back at me and smiled the wicked smile that he gets when we talk about killing Josh, I matched his smile.

We got back to Ben's shop and he sat Josh down in the chair, I closed the door and locked it, I also closed the blinds on the windows and the door so people on the outside can't see what we were about to do. I stayed behind Ben until he told me to slowly and silently get out a pair of cuffs that Ben bought for this moment. I went to the drawer and found two different pairs; one pair was for his hands the other was for his ankles so he couldn't move. When Ben finished shaving Josh, Josh went to stand up when he found that he couldn't move, he started tugging on the chains to see if they will come lose but they didn't loosen.

Ben and I stood in front of him and held hands. "What the hell around you doing?" Josh asked us.

"Oh this," I asked looking down at our hands "Oh, yeah I'm leaving you because Benjamin Barker came back and I gotta say he is amazing in bed." I said before giving Ben a deep, passionate kiss.

Josh got angry at the fact that I cheated on him. I walked closer to him and bent down so I was eye level with him and said "Oh don't look like you have been betrayed because I know that you cheat on me every night with a different woman every night. But when I cheat at least I only cheat on you with one person."

"How did you find out about that?" He asked.

"After a couple of months of you not coming home until really late at night, I followed you and you are picking up woman every single night, that pissed me off so much that's why I went back to my parents. Plus you hit me EVERY SINGLE DAY and then you act surprised when you saw bruises on my back, arms and legs. You are cruel and I fucking hate you and I hope you burn in hell." I said slapping him hard across the face. "Oh by the way, I'm pregnant with Ben's baby. Baby, give me the razor." I said the last part to Ben.

He handed me the razor, and I began to torture Josh. I cut him on the arms and legs lightly, when I got to his chest I began cutting deeper. It felt good to get pay back for all the years of getting hit with canes, whips, belts his hands basically anything he could get his hands on. I was getting so carried away with what I was doing I didn't even realise that I was stabbing him now, Ben basically had to grab my arm to make me stop. That's when I broke down and I started crying. "Nellie, are you okay?" Ben asked.

"I'm sorry; it's just all the feelings of the last 7 years have finally come to light and I just got a little carried away. I'm so sorry."

"Nellie, you have nothing to be sorry for. You never have to say sorry." He said cupping my cheeks and kissed me.

"I love you so much." I said when we parted,

"I love you too, baby. Now do you want to finish him off or do you want me to do it?" He asked me.

"Baby you do it." I said.

He smiled and took the razor from my hand and walked back over to Josh. "Any last words you piece of shit?" The gruffness and the way he spat out those words it turned me on, I bit my lip to stop myself from moaning.

Josh shook his head; Ben spoke again "Are you sure? Are you sure you don't want to apologize to Nellie for being a complete and total ass to her for 7 years? Or try and make a menses with her for stopping her from writing to me, or perhaps…"

"Baby I think he gets it." I smiled at him and we both laughed.

"Say you are sorry to Nellie and mean it." Ben said again in his gruff voice, I moaned this time. Ben looked at me and his eyes were dilated the I couldn't see the beautiful brown his eyes usually were, so I knew he was just as turned on as I was.

"I….I'm sorry Nellie." Josh said in a shaky voice.

"Good." Ben said as he moved the razor to the left side of Josh's neck and made a clean cut to the right side. Josh's blood poured out from his neck and I bathed in it. I grabbed Ben by the shirt and kissed him with all the passion I had in me.

I woke up the next morning with Josh's dried blood and the smell of sex all over me. I couldn't have woken up any happier today. I was finally free of my husband and now Ben and I can be a real couple without judgmental eyes on us all the time. Now was just the matter of telling my parents that I was pregnant and that I was sleeping Ben and that Sweeney was actually Ben.

* * *

There you have it, Please review I gotta know if you like the chapter and the story and please tell me if you have any story lines for me :)

Love you all heaps

Sarah Aimie Gubler xx


	9. Chapter 9

Hey guys

Here is chapter 9,

Yes every chapter from now on is in Nellie's point of view,

Ishipsweenett: here is your ninth chapter I hope you love it like you loved my other ones :)

Please review like always people :)

Love you guysxx

* * *

MONTH THREE:

I was hyperventilating, today was the day that Ben and I were going to tell my parents about us and the baby.

"Baby calm down I'm sure they are going to be thrilled." He said trying to comfort me, he hugged me and kissed my head.

"I know, but what if they're not?" I was getting very anxious and fidgety.

"Trust me they will, and I'll be with you the whole time." He said holding me tighter.

We walked down the stairs towards the parents shop and opened the door. We saw my Mum making pies and my Dad cleaning.

"Hi Mum, Dad can we talk for a minute?" I said holding Ben's hand hard.

"Ow, crushing bones." He whispered to me, I released his hand a little and whispered "Sorry."

"What's wrong, Nellie?" My Mum asked as she walked over to the booth that my Dad was cleaning and now sitting at.

I took a deep breath, "Ok, first of all Sweeney is not Sweeney Its Benjamin Barker." They both looked stunned and a flash of anger appeared on their faces.

"Ok," My Mum said, I could tell she was trying not to yell.

"And since Ben has come back, we have been sleeping together."

"Ok," My Dad said.

"And we are having a baby together." I said cringing at the thought of what they were going to say.

"You're pregnant?" They asked in unison.

"Yes, I'm 3 months pregnant." I said holding Ben's hand a little tighter.

"GET OUT!" They said both said.

"What?" I whispered.

"GET OUT! LEAVE NOW AND DON'T EVER COME BACK!" Mum yelled.

Ben and I both went back to his shop and to pack our bags to leave. Ben had some money stashed away from the trip to South Africa and from working here, for this very moment so we could get a house anywhere in Europe.

"I really thought that they would be happy about us and the baby." I said crying into Ben's chest.

"I know baby I thought so too. We can go anywhere you want." He said kissing my head.

"I have always loved the sea, why don't we move there?" I said sniffing.

"We can go wherever you want." He smiled.

We left and my parents didn't even say goodbye they just stood in the window and watch us drive away in a cab.

We finally arrived at the beach and went in search for a house for sale. After hours of looking we finally found a house that was on the beach, within our price range and that we both loved. It was a 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom home with a home theater room and a big kitchen which I loved.

When we paid for the house and we unpacked we went to the doctor's office to meet the Obstetrician.

"Hello, my name is Dr. Amanda Mills; I understand that you are 3 months pregnant?" The doctor said when she walked into the room.

"Yeah we have just move from London and we need a new doctor."

"Ok, well let's have a look." She said doing an ultra-sound. "Oh, you can know the sex of the baby if you want to know."

"Yes we want to know."

"You are having a boy, congratulations." She said with a smile.

"Oh, my God really, we're having a boy?" I said smiling.

"Yes you are."

We left the doctor's office and went to our new home. The house was already furnished so we didn't have to buy any furniture and spend money we didn't have.

We lay on our bed holding hands with our fingers intertwined, talking about things we were going to do between now and when the baby was born.

"I have to get a job." Ben said.

"Yeah, I'm going to have to as well."

"Oh no you're not," He said

"Excuse me?"

"You are not getting a job until the baby is born."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want anything to happen to you or the baby, and I know that if you go out to work I know something will happen to the two of you."

"That's nice sweetheart but I have to do something or I'll go crazy."

"Why not, write songs again and perform them at a local pub or something?" He suggested.

"Oh yeah that sounds like a good idea." I said "You are so smart baby." I continued before kissing him.

We continued to kiss until it got very heated very quickly.

I woke up a little while later and found Ben asleep on my chest, I smiled down at him and started stroking his hair that's when my morning sickness hit me again. I lifted his head and ran to the bathroom, when I came out of the bathroom, I saw him smiling at me.

"What?" I asked

"You look so beautiful in the mornings." He said.

"Flattery will get you everywhere Mr. Barker." I walked seductively towards the bed and stopped in front of him. He kneeled on the bed rear me and started kissing my baby bump that was getting more visible as the weeks went by. I was now in my 18th week so that meant that the baby would start to kick at any time now. So when ben was kissing my bump the baby kicked him in the face.

"Ouch! What did you do that for?" He said.

"Oh, my God he's kicking the baby's kicking." I said putting my hands on my belly. Every time he kicked I gasped. I placed Ben's hands on my bump and he felt it kicking.

"Oh, my God that's incredible." He was getting just as excited as I was. The more he kicked the more excited we got.

"He is kicking so much." I said.

Later that day I was sitting on the bed writing a new song. I wanted to write about our new baby finally after hours of thinking I finally wrote a song about my new bundle of joy:

_You're just a small bump unborn, in four months you're brought to life,  
You might be left with my hair, but you'll have your father's eyes,  
I'll hold your body in my hands, be as gentle as I can, but for now you're scan of my unmade plans,  
A small bump in four months, you're brought to life  
_

_ I'll whisper quietly, I'll give you nothing but truth,  
If you're not inside me, I'll put my future in you_

You are my one and only.  
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.  
Oh, you are my one and only.  
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.  
And you'll be alright.

Oh, you're just a small bump unknown, you'll grow into your skin.  
With a smile like hers and a dimple beneath your chin.  
Finger nails the size of a half grain of rice,  
And eyelids closed to be soon opened wide  
A small bump, in four months you'll open your eyes.

And I'll hold you tightly, I'll give you nothing but truth,  
If you're not inside me, I'll put my future in you

You are my one and only.  
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.  
Oh, you are my one and only.  
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.  
And you'll be alright.

And you can lie with me,  
With your tiny feet  
When you're half asleep,  
I'll leave you be.  
Right in front of me  
For a couple weeks  
So I can keep you safe.

'Cause you are my one and only.  
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.  
You are my one and only.  
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.  
And you'll be alright.

When Ben got home I sang the song for him, he thought that it was amazing and he began to cry.

"Why are you crying?" I asked.

"Because you have an amazing voice and because I love you so much it hurts."

"Aw, I love you more." I said.

"Not possible." He said scooping me up in his arms and carried me to our bedroom.

* * *

Hey guys,

Here is chapter 9

three chapters in one day, whew :)

Love you all xx

Sarah Aimie Gubler xx


	10. Chapter 10

Hey dudes,

In case you were wondering,

Yes the song in the last chater as Ed Sheeran's Small Bump.

I Completely forgot to say that at the end of my last chapter :/

anyways I hope you love this chapter,

Again a big shout out to Ishipsweenett, who apparently can't get enough of his story;) Love ya honey

Love all the rest of yous too ;)

Sarah Aimie Gubler xx

* * *

I am now in my 5th month of being pregnant and I keep getting sexual urges, it seems that I'll have sex with anything. It's really starting to bug me.

Ben got a job as a teacher, teaching kids how to make paper-mashie volcanoes and baking-soda lava, making the solar system out of foam balls and teaching them right from wrong. Watching him with the kids makes me glad that he was the father of my child.

I was watching Ben looking after the last few kids whose parents hadn't picked them up yet, when someone came up to me. "Excuse me miss?" A female's voice said from behind me.

"Yes?" I said as I turned around, I saw a man and a woman they both looked like cops.

"Is that man over there Benjamin Barker?" She asked.

I freaked out so I lied, "No ma'am why?"

"We have some question's we'd like to ask him." The man said.

"Oh, well like I said he is not Benjamin Barker, his name is Sweeney Todd and I'm his sister Eleanor Todd." I smiled.

"Oh you're Eleanor Todd, wife of Josh Turpin?" They said.

"Yes, why," I said faking my worry.

"I'm sorry to say ma'am but your husband is dead." The lady cop said.

I used my fake gasp and said, "Oh, no how did it happen?"

"The assailant used a knife of some sort to slice his throat open." The man said.

I nodded and thanked them for the news

I quickly walked over to Ben, "Nellie what are you doing here?" He asked giving me a hug.

"Can't I come to my handsome boyfriend's work and surprise him." I smiled fiddling with the collar of his shirt and with my best fake smile.

"What's wrong?" He always knew my fake smile when he saw it.

"What makes you think there is anything wrong?" I asked.

"Nellie, I know you better than anyone, I know when there is something wrong."

"Damn you, you see the people over there," I said darting my eyes over to the cops. "They were asking me about you, Mum and Dad found Josh's body. We forgot to get rid of it, before we left." I said starting to panic.

Ben grabbed me by the shoulders and told me to calm down.

"Ben, I can't lose you not again." I said clutching to his shirt.

"Sweetheart, I'm not going anywhere I promise." He reassured me giving me a kiss on the forehead.

That calmed me down a bit, because Ben always kept his promises. We walked home hand in hand and chatting about little things. Ben stops and turns me in front of him.

"Ben, what are you doing?" I asked. He didn't answer me he just took a deep breath and gathered both of my hands in his.

"Nellie, you know I love you right?"

I gave him a weird look and said "Yeah?"

"You know that at the age of 7 my parents split up?"

"Ben you're scaring me."

What he did next surprised the hell out of me; he dropped down to his knee and pulled out a little red velvet box. "Eleanor Jessica Todd, would you make me the happiest and the luckiest man in the world and marry me?"

I was stunned that he waited this long; hell if he had done this before he left or when we met I would have said what I was about to say now, "Yes, absolutely yes, I would love to marry you." I screamed, he stood up and I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a big, love filled kiss.

"When did you buy this?" I asked when he slipped the ring on my finger.

"Remember the night I said that I was going to be late home because there was some work I needed to do?"

"Yeah,"

"I got it then, I needed an excuse to get it without you getting suspicious."

I was thrilled to be getting married to my best friend; it was a shame that my parents weren't happy about the idea of me and Ben together but when it's just the two and a half of us who needs anyone else.

"I don't need to marry you, you know." I said

"What are you talking about?"

"As long as you are there in the morning when I wake up and there when I go to sleep I'm the happiest girl in the world." I smiled up at him, "But I wouldn't mind being Mrs. Benjamin Barker." I giggled.

Our home wasn't far from where I had asked to become Ben's wife. We got to the front door and Ben picked me up bridle style though our front door, I giggled at how funny it was seeing him trying to lift up his 5 month pregnant wife-to-be.

"Sweetie you don't have to pick me up I can walk." I said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, honey you don't have to do that, until I have had our child." I laughed.

He put me down and started to over excaudate breathing. I put my hands on my hips and glared at him.

"I'm not that heavy."

"I know baby, you're still the gorgeous 15 year old girl I met all those years ago."

"Aw, you kiss ass."

"That's my name don't wear it out." He laughed.

All of a sudden I started having massive pains in my belly.

"Honey, something feel's weird and not good weird, OW!" I screamed.

"Sweetheart, I'm taking you to the hospital right now." He said taking my hand.

"Ok," I said holding on to his hand tightly.

"OW, crushing bones, good thing we're going to a hospital." He said trying to lighten the mood.

"Aw, aren't you sweet trying to make things better when they are bad."

"That's what I'm here for baby doll."

"Don't ever call me that again honey."

"Yes dear." He said with a fake pout.

"Oh, no don't do that." I said.

"You're right I'm sorry."

We rushed to the hospital, as fast as you can when you're living in a suburb surrounded by schools and young families, with young children. We got to the hospital and we saw the doctor right away, only my doctor was sick so I saw another doctor only this time it was a male. I wasn't as uncomfortable as I thought I would be, mainly because he was happily married and a lot older than me.

We came out of the examination room to find Ben looking very worried, "Hey is everything ok?"

"Yeah she had what's known as Braxton Hick's contractions, mild discomfort in the uterine wall." The doctor informed Ben.

"Hm, mild discomfort, so take it you've had one of these Braxton thingies?" I said.

"So everything is ok, there's no danger to her or the baby?" He asked.

"Contractions can be unnerving if you don't know what they are, but they are both fine."

I smiled and said "Thank you doctor. Aw thank you for staying so nice and calm during this." I said to Ben.

"Calm, I wasn't clam I have never been more scared in my entire life." He said starting to panic.

"What you said everything was going to be fine." I said starting to panic myself.

"What do I know I'm not a doctor?"

"But everything is fine I'm ok."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, but I have half a mind to contract that doctor's uterus though, mild discomfort? What's he talking about?" I said laughing.

"Come on let's go home." Ben said after he stopped laughing.

We got home; I grabbed my songbook and guitar and sat on the couch in the living room.

"Wrote another song today," I said "You wanna heard it?"

"Hell yes, woman."

_Are we growing up or just going down?  
It's just a matter of time until we're all found out  
Take our tears and put them on ice  
Cause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light_

We're the therapists pumping through your speakers  
Delivering just what you need  
We're well read and poised  
We're the best boys  
We're the chemists who've found the formula  
To make your heart swell and burst  
No matter what they say, don't believe a word

Cause I'll keep singing this lie if you'll keep believing it  
I'll keep singing this lie  
I'll keep singing this lie

Are we growing up or just going down?  
It's just a matter of time until we're all found out  
Take our tears and put them on ice  
Cause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light

We're traveled like gypsies  
Only with worse luck and far less gold  
We're the kids you used to love  
But then we grew old  
We're the lifers here till the bitter end  
Condemned from the start  
Ashamed of the way  
The songs and the words own the beating of our hearts

Cause I'll keep singing this lie  
I'll keep singing this lie

Are we growing up or just going down?  
It's just a matter of time until we're all found out  
take our tears and put them on ice  
Cause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light  
There's a drug in the thermostat to warm the room up  
And there's another around to help us bend your trust  
I've got a sunset in my veins  
And I need to take a pill to make this town feel okay

The best part of "Believe" is the "Lie",  
I hope you sing along and you steal a line  
I need to keep you like this in my mind  
So give in or just give up [x2]

Are we growing up or just going down?

Are we growing up or just going down?  
It's just a matter of time until we're all found out  
Take our tears and put them on ice  
Cause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light

* * *

Hey guys,

The song is Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year by Fall Out Boy.

I hope you liked the chapter :)

Love you guys heaps xx

Sarah Aimie Gubler xx


	11. Chapter 11

G'day mates:

Yup that's right I just went all Aussie on you asses hahaha,

This is chapter 11 I hope you like it please review it when you have finished reading it.

I'd like to give a massive shout out to my girl Ishipsweenett, who is not only my Sweenett sister but she is also my Jolena sister as well, Love ya girlie :)

Love SAGxx

* * *

When you're shopping in the markets all by yourself it's pretty sad that you can't do and get many things because your big belly is always in the way. That's why I always wait until Ben can come with me so I don't have to try and reach everything myself and failing.

"Sweetie, you're going to be fine, it's only for 3 more months and then we're going to have a little bundle of joy with us." Ben said trying to cheer me up.

"You're right but I want him to be born now, so my guitar can fit again and I can actually see my toes again and I can have sex with my fiancé whenever I want." I pouted.

"Aw, sweetheart everything is going to be fine." He gave me a big hug.

"Are you still attracted to me?" I asked out of the blue.

"Of course I do, you get more gorgeous every day." He said smiling and giving me a kiss.

"Are you sure you're not going to leave me because I look like a whale?"

"What did I tell you the first day I came back?"

"That you were never going to leave me again, because you missed me too much and that I was all you thought about while over there and you got off while looking at a picture of me."

"I didn't say the last part."

"You should have 'cause I did that with a picture of you."

"Huh, really,"

"Yeah, when I had sex with Josh I had to pretend it was you, although you weren't as sloppy as he was. I also had to make sure that I didn't scream your name when I faked my orgasms."

"Oh, baby too much information. You don't fake your orgasms when you're with me do you?"

"No baby my orgasms with you are very real, how do you think I got pregnant, you know that if a woman achieves an orgasm there is a greater chance of getting pregnant?"

"No but thank you for that little piece of information I could have gone the rest of my life without knowing."

"You are such a prude." I said laughing and playfully hitting him on the arm.

"And you are very facetious." He said

"I know but you love me anyway."

"That I do baby, that I do." He said hugging me.

I was in our bedroom writing down lyrics for a new song when there was a knock at the door.

"Ben it's your house too you don't have to knock." I laughed. When the door opened the person I saw wasn't Ben but my Mum. "Mum, what are you doing here, how did you even find us?"

"I just wanted to see you, and to say I'm sorry about how your father and I acted when you told us you were pregnant, we shouldn't have thrown you out like that. We are very sorry and we want you, both of you to come back home." She said sitting next to me on the bed.

"Mum I appreciate the offer but Ben and I are happy here and we are getting married right after the baby is born." I said smiling half-heartedly.

"Oh, that's wonderful darling. I'm so happy for you. Do you know the sex of the baby yet?"

"Yeah, we're having a boy." I smiled rubbing my belly. "Ow," I said clutching my belly.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" My Mum asked with concern all over her face.

"The baby just kicked." I said.

"Can I feel it?" She asked.

"Yeah you can here." I said grabbing her hand and placing it on the part of my belly where my little boy was kicking.

"Oh, my Gosh that's as amazing. I remember the first time you started kicking. Your father and I were in bed and your father started kissing my belly and boom you started kicking and you kicked your father in the face, I couldn't stop laughing and I bet you were laughing too."

"Oh, my God that's what happened with this little guy, Ben was kissing my belly and he just started kicking. How weird is that?" I said.

Mum and I laughed for a little bit, when it subsided we she held my hand and I rested my head on her shoulder.

"I miss you, darling." She said.

"I miss you too Mummy but I have a nice life here with Ben and we love each other very much and it would mean a lot to us if you and Daddy could come to the wedding and the birth of your first grandchild." I said almost bursting into tears.

"Don't cry sweetheart, because you're going to make me start crying." She said as she hugged me tightly. "Of course we'll be there."

When Mum left I was still emotional. "Come on." Ben said.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"We are going to bed so you can cry and I'll hold you while you let out all of your feelings about what happened today." He said.

We reached our bedroom and closed the door. We lay on the bed, he propped himself up on the head board and I laid between his chest and he rocked me while I cried myself to sleep from the over whelming emotions I experienced today.

I woke up the next morning and rolled over expecting to hit the amazingly rock hard abs of my gorgeous fiancé but all I found was cold sheets next to me. I bolted upright in bed and looked towards the door and found that the door was open. I got up, put on a robe and went down stairs, to try and find him. The closer I got to the kitchen I could smell food and my tummy grumbled, I finally reached the kitchen and I saw Ben in the kitchen making breakfast.

"I could get used waking up like this." I said leaning against the counter furthest away from him so I didn't get in his way.

"You were supposed to be asleep." He said piling scrambled eggs on top of a stack of pancakes, with a side of bacon and everything you want on a Sunday morning.

"You know I can't sleep in I have always been an early riser." I said.

"I thought I left myself enough time to make you breakfast and bring it up to you. Oh well since you're here, happy birthday baby." He said giving me a kiss that I have never received from him before.

"Hm, that was a different kind of kiss I liked it." I giggled wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Well that's the kind of kiss you only get on your birthday, that's what makes it so special." He smiled.

"Best birthday present ever."

"Oh, no the best is to come but you have to eat first after all it is the most important meal of the day."

"You're so cute when you go all teacher on me, it's a shame I'm pregnant otherwise I would be on you in a flash."

"The doctor said you can still have sex it's not going to harm the baby."

"Yeah I know but you know how rough our sex can get what happens if we do something that will harm the baby?"

"Yeah ok, we'll put it off until after the baby is born. Damn it I want the baby to be born now, talking about it has gotten me in the mood damn it." He winged

"I know, fine we'll have sex but only if we go slow and you have to be careful." I said in my best warning tone.

"Scouts honor."

"You have never been a scout."

"I know but its fun to say it."

We got upstairs and of course Ben completely went back on his word about going slow, but it didn't cause any harm to the baby so he kept pounding into me.

"What is it about a man making breakfast that gets me so hot?" I panted out trying to catch my breath.

"What is it about _you_ that gets me so hot?" He asked back.

"I guess I just have a warmth." I laughed.

"Oh I almost forgot, also for your birthday I wrote you a song."

"Oh sweetie you didn't have to write me a song for my birthday just the sound of your voice is gift enough."

"I know but I wrote you one ages ago and I have been saving it for your birthday." He said getting up and getting my guitar from the wardrobe. He put the strap over his shoulder and started playing.

"_Last years wishes,_

_Are this years apologize,_

_Every last time I come home,_

_I take my last chance to burn a bridge or two,_

_I'm gonna keep myself this sick in the head,_

_'Cause I know how the words get to you,_

_We're the new face of failure  
Prettier and younger but not any better off  
Bulletproof loneliness at best, at best_

_Me and you, setting in a honeymoon  
If I woke up next to you, if I woke up next to you  
Me and you, setting in a honeymoon  
If I woke up next to you, if I woke up next to you_

_Collect the bad habits that you couldn't bear to keep  
Out of the woods but I love  
A tree I used to lay beneath, kissed teeth stained red  
From the sour bottle baby girl with eyes the size of baby worlds_

_We're the new face of failure  
Prettier and younger but not any better off  
Bulletproof loneliness at best, at best_

_Me and you, setting in a honeymoon  
If I woke up next to you, if I woke up next to you  
Me and you, setting in a honeymoon  
If I woke up next to you, if I woke up next to you_

_Me and you, setting in a honeymoon  
If I woke up next to you, if I woke up next to you  
Me and you, setting in a honeymoon  
If I woke up next to you, if I woke up next to you_

_The best way to make it through  
With hearts and wrists intact  
Is to realize two out of three ain't bad  
Ain't bad!_

_Me and you, setting in a honeymoon  
If I woke up next to you, if I woke up next to you  
Me and you  
(Honeymoon)  
Setting in a honeymoon_

_Me and you, setting in a honeymoon  
If I woke up next to you, if I woke up next to you  
Me and you, setting in a honeymoon  
If I woke up next to you  
(Honeymoon)_"

When he finished the song I applauded him and I started crying. "Honey, that was amazing."

"Oh thank you baby."

"I'll be walking around with that song in my head all day now thank you baby." I said giving him a kiss.

"You're welcome." He said putting the guitar down and grabbing me before I walked off and sat me down on his lap.

Oy today was going to be a very long day.

* * *

Hey,

Yes I did use another FOB song "I'm like a lawyer with the way i'm always trying to get you off (Me & You) Love that song especially the last chorus I think it's so beautiful :')

Please review my amazing little followers and fans :)

Love SAG xx :)


	12. Chapter 12

Greetings little ones,

Sorry this one is a little short but i'm tired and I couldn't think of anything.

I hope this one is okay :)

Love you guys xx

Sarah Aimie Gubler xx

* * *

I am now coming into my 7th month of being pregnant and I'm starting to get real sick of it, plus according to Ben my mood swings have started to kick in. One minute I'll be happy and the next I'll be a total bitch. But luckily for me and him he knows when to back off and when to be my loving fiancé.

"I'm so sick of being pregnant." I said rubbing my belly while looking at myself in the mirror in the bedroom.

"I know honey but you only have to put up with it for a couple more months and then you can be yourself again." He said coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my belly.

"Don't you 'I know honey' me." I snapped struggling out of his grasp.

"Your right, I'm sorry. I'm going to do some work."

"No don't leave me. I'm sorry I'll try and put a lid on my anger." I cried gripping his shirt.

"It's not about you baby, I just really have some work to do for school tomorrow." He said kissing my forehead.

"Oh, okay then. I'll miss you." I said hugging him.

"I'll miss you too, even though I'm just down the corridor."

"I know but I hate it when you're not around, I just miss you a lot."

"Well, I miss you too sweetie but if we want to keep living here I have to work." He gave me a great big kiss and left me.

I sat on our bed and got out my songbook and started writing down words for a new song.

"_Don't panic,_

_No not yet,_

_ I know I'm the one you want to forget,_

_Que all the to leave my heart,_

_It's time for me to fall apart_

_Now you're gone but I'll be ok,_

_Your hot whiskey eyes avenge the flame,_

_Maybe I'll burn a little brighter tonight,_

_Let the fire breath me back to life,_

_Baby you were my picket fence,_

_I miss missing you now and then,_

_Chlorine kiss, summer skin,_

_I miss missing you now and then,_

_Sometimes before it gets better,_

_The darkness gets bigger,_

_The person you'd take a bullet for is_

_Behind the trigger, oh,_

_We're fading fast,_

_I miss missing you, now and then._

_Making eyes at this husk,_

_Around my heart,_

_I'll sing for you when we're sitting in the dark,_

_So give me your filth,_

_Make it rough,_

_Let me, let me_

_Trash your love_

_I will sing to you everyday,_

_If it will take away the pain,_

_Oh, and I've heard you got it, got it so bad,_

_'Cause I am the best you'll never have_

_Baby you were my picket fence,_

_I miss missing you now and then,_

_Chlorine kiss, summer skin,_

_I miss missing you now and then,_

_Sometimes before it gets better,_

_The darkness gets bigger,_

_The person you'd take a bullet for is_

_Behind the trigger, oh,_

_We're fading fast,_

_I miss missing you, now and then._

_Now and then,_

_Now and then,_

_Now and then,_

_Baby you were my picket fence,_

_I miss missing you now and then."_

When I stopped writing I realised that this was about Josh. I have never written a song about him before, so why was I writing about him now? It began to freak me out. I walked as fast as I could down to the study to show Ben the song.

"Ben, I think I just wrote a song about Josh." I said handing him the book.

"Eh, it's a sign that you are officially over him. Because when you read this right here, it says '_Oh, and I've heard you got it, got it so bad, 'Cause I am the best you'll never have' _it really sounds like you are saying that he was so horrible to you that he will never have you again. Besides he is dead he can't torment you anymore."

"I know but I still have nightmares of him." I shuddered at the nightmares.

"Sweetheart he can't get to you anymore I promise, I would die before I let anything happen to you and this little guy." He said rubbing my bump.

"Really?" I asked.

"You know I will." He smiled.

"Thank you Ben."

"You're welcome. Now come on I'm hungry and I'm sure you are too."

"Yeah I am," He got off his chair and lead me to the kitchen and he made us lunch.

* * *

Hey guys,

that was chapter 12 I hope it was okay for you guys.

I'll be posting tomorrow :)

Love you guys xx

Sarah Aimie Gubler xx

P.S. The song was Miss Missing You By Fall Out Boy. :) in case you were wondering :)


	13. Chapter 13

Hey guys,

There are a few surprises in here,

There were a couple of songs requested to me like the first one _Lullabies_ By _All Time Low_ requestedby petewentzisshort and _Clarity _by _Zedd _requested by Ishipsweenett.

I love you guys all so much,

Sarah Aimie Gubler xx

* * *

3 weeks into my 8th month of pregnancy, Ben and I are on our bed with his singing a song he wrote:

"_Make it a sweet, sweet goodbye -  
it could be for the last time and it's not right.  
"Don't let yourself get in over your head," he said.  
Alone and far from home we'll find you..._

Dead - Like a candle you burned out;  
spill the wax over the spaces left in place of angry words.  
Scream - To be heard, like you needed any more attention;  
throw the bottle, break the door, and disappear.

Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams,  
waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."

Forever's never seemed so long as when you're not around  
it's like a piece of me is missing.  
I could have learned so much from you but what's left now?  
Don't you realize you shot this family a world of pain?  
Can't you see there should have been a happy ending we let go?

Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams,  
waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."

Sing me to sleep.  
Sing me to sleep.  
Sing me to sleep.  
Sing me to s...

Sing me to sleep (You've taken so much with you...)  
I'll see you in my dreams, (But left the worst with me...),  
waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."  
I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

I knew he was singing that song about me, our unborn baby and Josh. Because he loves me and our little boy but he absolutely hates Josh for all the pain he has caused me when he was away from me, unable to protect me when I needed him.

He kissed my tummy and that's when I felt it.

"Honey, I think my water just broke." I said.

"What?"

"I Said I think my water just broke."

"Oh, my God. Come on sweetie we have to go to the hospital."

"Oh, thank you by the way for giving me that news flash."

He grabbed all of the stuff we needed for this situation. We arrived at the hospital in 4 minutes and 45 seconds.

"Yes, we made it here in less than 5 minutes." He said getting excited.

"Yes, the hard part is truly over." I said sarcastically.

"Oh cheer up honey; you're having our baby now."

"No I will not cheer up. It's going to hurt like a bitch and I'm scared." I said holding his hand.

"Honey, it's going to be okay. I promise."

"Easy for you to say I don't see a kid coming out of your vagina."

"Ok, sweetie you have to calm down."

"You're right I'm sorry I'll try to calm down. Where the fuck are my drugs at?" I screamed the last part out into the hall so a nurse could come in and give me the drugs I wanted.

Finally after complaining for 10 minutes a nurse finally gave me some drugs to easy my pain. I officially relaxed then and Ben relaxed as well because I wasn't constantly jumping down his throat all the time.

"Ben did you remember to call Mum and Dad?"

"Yes, sweetie don't worry they said they'll be here as soon as they can." He said kissing my hand.

After 10 hours in the delivery room, Ben and I finally had our beautiful baby boy. I was so spent from the delivery that I was an emotional wreak; I cried every 5 minutes.

"What's wrong sweetie?" Ben asked.

"Oh nothing I'm just so tired and so happy for him to be out of me finally and the fact that just before I put my slippers on the wrong feet." I sobbed. I then sobbed harder.

"What's wrong now?"

"I was re-living it." I sobbed.

"You know we still need a name for this little guy." Ben said picking him up from the cradle that the hospital provided for us.

"I like the name Toby." I said.

"Toby, I like that too. I also like the name Jack."

"How about a compromise, we'll call him Toby Jack Barker?" I suggested.

"I like it." He said nodding.

The next morning Ben, Toby and I went home and put Toby in the crib that Mum gave us when she last visited because we didn't have enough money to buy things new Mum gave us all my things from when I was little not including the clothes of course. Ben's Mum visited us a couple of time and brought Ben's baby clothes to give to our baby.

Toby like Ben and I as baby's never cried at night he slept all night and behaved like and angel all day so me being a first time Mum I didn't have to be as scared as I was in the beginning. It was still frightening thinking about what to do at times but I'll eventually get the hang of it.

Ben was amazing with Toby. Ben took some time off work to help me with Toby which made me fall in love with him even more with made me even happier about my life and everything it contained.

Little did Ben and I know that Toby had an illness from which there was no cure. A very rare form of cancer. No matter how many doctors we saw they all said the same thing 'there is no cure to this form of aggressive cancer I'm sorry'.

Toby was now 2 and the age that the cancer usually takes their victims is 3, and on Toby's 3rd birthday I couldn't get him up, he had passed away overnight. Ben and I were more than devastated, we couldn't even go outside and talk to people we were that depressed. All we did was eat, sleep, write songs and try to make another baby.

The song I wrote went something like this:

"High dive into frozen waves where the past comes back to life  
Fight fear for the selfish pain, it was worth it every time  
Hold still right before we crash 'cause we both know how this ends  
A clock ticks 'til it breaks your glass and I drown in you again

'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need  
Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why

If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?  
If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?

(Hey-ay, hey-ay-ay. Hey-ay, hey-ay-ay. Hey-ay, hey-ay-ay. Hey-ay, hey)

If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?  
If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?

Walk on through a red parade and refuse to make amends  
It cuts deep through our ground and makes us forget all common sense  
Don't speak as I try to leave 'cause we both know what we'll choose  
If you pull then I'll push too deep and I'll fall right back to you

'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need  
Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why

If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?  
If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?

(Hey-ay, hey-ay-ay. Hey-ay, hey-ay-ay. Hey-ay, hey-ay-ay. Hey-ay, hey)

Why are you my clarity?  
Why are you my remedy?  
Why are you my clarity?  
Why are you my remedy?

If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?  
If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?"

But because we tried so many times we failed every time. We saw a bunch of doctors to try to help us with getting pregnant again but because Toby died from cancer a gene that I carried there was no way we could get pregnant again. This news was so devastating that I locked myself in our bedroom.

As the days went by, Ben was starting to get worried. "Baby please come out and eat something, I'm worried about you." He pleaded as he knocked on the door.

I got off the bed and opened the door to find Ben with a sad smile on his face. He enveloped me in the hug that I have always loved. I looked into his eyes and he wiped away my tears and gave me a loving kiss that always made everything better.

Our kiss sadly was interrupted by a knock at the door. Ben walked me to the stairs and let me answer the door to allow me to reconnect with society even for a little while. I opened the door to find the one person I thought I had long forgotten about. Josh.

He was holding a gun in his right hand. He lifted his armed arm straight at me and pulled the trigger.

I woke up screaming in an ear-piercing scream. I looked around to find myself in my bed at my parent's house, I looked next to me and found Ben next to me he looked a lot younger than I what I had dreamed. I got up and looked in the mirror and found that I was also younger than my dream. Ben had woken up from my scream.

"I thought that I was the only one who could make you scream like that?" He asked.

I ran over to him and gave him the biggest hug I could every give another human being. "Don't leave please, I'm begging you as a friend and as the person who has loved you since the day we met. Please don't leave me so I don't see you for ten years and I end up marrying Josh Turpin and live a life of misery." I sobbed into his chest.

"Baby, I will never ever leave you, you know that." He said.

"Really?"

"Yes, baby I love you more than life itself why would I throw that way over something I thought I had to do? Which is why," He said getting up and walking over to his bag and pulling out a blue velvet box, he came back and sat on the bed and continued with "Eleanor Jessica Todd, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

"Ben we are only 18 years old."

"So, I know that I'm not going to love anybody else in my whole life so please say yes, because I know you love me too."

"I do more than anything else. Yes I will marry you." I said. He slipped he ring on my finger and stood up taking me with him. We hugged as he span me around.

"Ben stop!" I said.

"Why?" He asked stopping. I didn't answer I just ran to the bathroom and threw up the entire contents of my stomach.

"Nellie, are you ok?"

"Does it sound like I'm ok?" I snapped.

"Do you want me to get you some water?" He asks. I opened the door of the bathroom and looked at him. "No thank you, I'll just brush my teeth and I'll be ready for round two." I said winking at him.

"Well technically it would be round 4." He said winking at me.

* * *

Now be completely honest how many of you were pissed off?

Now if you were seriously pissed off send me a review telling me so, but no verbal abuse please, I have been bullied my whole life and if you send me anything really mean I will probably kill myself :)

Thanks xx

Love ya'll

Sarah Aimie Gubler :) xx


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